Off With His Head

Yes, Joab, commander-in-chief of King David’s army, is an ambitious hothead and a ruthless, bloodthirsty warrior; Bible commentaries always peg him as a villain, but I kind of like the guy. I have been wading through 2 Samuel for months now and every time I bump into Joab, he makes me smile or shake my head in reluctant admiration.

Why am I talking about a guy in my girl-power blog? Well, for starters, for a man of his time, Joab had a surprisingly modern attitude towards women (I think he gets that from his mother, but that’s another blog post for another day—soon, I promise). But today, we’re going to see him in action and study how one wise woman held up the juggernaut of his war machine with a simple request that led to a surprising reaction. (If you were raised in the south, like me, you’re probably reciting “Barbara Fritchie” right now, but it’s not quite the same.) 

Okay, so here’s the scenario: Joab has tracked a scallywag upstart who set his sights on King David’s throne to the town of Abel. Joab’s army is busily building a siege ramp and battering the walls. It’s only a matter of time before the townspeople pay dearly for harboring this fugitive.   

Enter our subject, a nameless gal known only as “the wise woman of Abel.” This savvy woman pops her head over the wall, surveys the situation, and hollers at the soldiers to go get Joab. Surprisingly, they don’t zing an arrow at her, but go fetch their captain.

| Here’s how the Bible tells it |
Then a wise woman cried out from the city, “Hear, hear! Please say to Joab, ‘Come nearby, that I may speak with you.’ ”

When he had come near to her, the woman said, “Are you Joab?”
He answered, “I am.”
Then she said to him, “Hear the words of your maidservant.” And he answered, “I am listening.”

So she spoke, saying, “They used to talk in former times, saying, ‘They shall surely seek guidance at Abel,’ and so they would end disputes.  I am among the peaceable and faithful in Israel. You seek to destroy a city and a mother in Israel. Why would you swallow up the inheritance of the Lord?”

(Now, this is why I love Joab. You can practically hear the pained indignation in his voice.)

“And Joab answered and said, “Far be it, far be it from me, that I should swallow up or destroy! That is not so. But a man from the mountains of Ephraim, Sheba the son of Bichri by name, has raised his hand against the king, against David. Deliver him only, and I will depart from the city.”

Then our wise woman swings into action. She doesn’t dither with Joab or whine or wheedle, she just basically says “Got it” and trots off to get ‘er done.

So the woman said to Joab, “Watch, his head will be thrown to you over the wall.” Then the woman in her wisdom went to all the people. And they cut off the head of Sheba the son of Bichri, and threw it out to Joab.

The Bible, with typical brevity, doesn’t give us the details of what happened after the “woman in her wisdom went to all the people”, but the next thing you know, a head is sailing neatly over the city walls (in my mind, accompanied by a Monty Python-esque sound effect). The denouement is almost comical:

Then he blew a trumpet, and they withdrew from the city, every man to his tent. So Joab returned to the king at Jerusalem. (2 Samuel 20: 14-22)

You get the impression when the horn sounded, everyone said “Quittin’ time!” and packed up their battering rams, shouldered their swords and shovels, and headed home, whistling as they went. A good day’s work and a happy ending for (almost) everyone.

| How to Face Down a Battering Ram—Fight Like a Girl Strategy #1 |

Let’s see what we can learn from our nameless sagacious sister and how we can apply it to our lives, shall we?

• She politely insists on talking to the top dog, then humbly waits until she’s got the decision-maker’s attention.  
• She gives him a brief, compelling backstory, identifying herself as a peaceful, faithful woman.
• She acknowledges the serious consequences, reminding Joab he’s about to destroy something the Lord put in place.
• She listens carefully to the leader’s directions, recognizes what needs to be done, acts on the instruction immediately just as directed without argument or further discussion.

*Game of Thrones, Office Version*

So, for those of you in corporate power-play situations, bear this woman’s wisdom in mind….be humble and respectful, play to your strengths, don't hide your light under a bushel, live up to your reputation, keep the big picture in mind, get consensus, and do what’s best for your team, even if it involves some sacrifice. And don’t argue with the boss—it never pays.

*Game of Thrones, Home Version*

But, Karen, you say, I’ve never faced anything remotely like that.

Really? This scenario happens with frightening regularity to me. I’m going along, living my life, when a rebellious attitude sneaks into my heart and makes itself at home, setting itself up against the rightful King. Its very presence is a threat and the longer I ignore it, the more dangerous and destructive it becomes.  

If I don’t kick it out and close the gates, the Lord starts building a siege ramp, curtailing my supply of His approval and presence. Finally, I lean over the wall that has grown up between us and ask to speak to the Decision-Maker. Like Joab, the Holy Spirit informs tells me exactly what needs to happen so I can return to my peaceful, faithful life as a “mother in Israel.”

| Let’s use this wise woman’s framework to win this heart battle |

• Humbly seek the Lord, knowing we have His undivided attention.
• Recognize the source of your spiritual famine and lack of peace (aka repent).
• Do what He says: Cut off the rebellious attitude and toss it down at His feet. (Anybody else reminded of Jesus’ scary cut off hands/pluck out eyes directive in Matthew 5:29-30?)  
• Rejoice—the war is over. Peace is restored!

One of my children’s more colorful babysitters used to say “If you can’t hear it, you’re gonna have to feel it,” and I think that sums up neatly what we’re talking about today. God doesn’t crush rebellion because He’s a tyrant, but because He knows it will destroy our peace, our sense of security, our ability to wisely help others.And if we can't hear His soft voice of loving correction when we start to go off-course, He'll have to escalate until we can't avoid the awful truth: we've got a traitor in our midst. 

Next time a swaggering rebellious attitude creeps past your guards and sets up shop in your heart, don’t hesitate. Off with his head.